Zumba at Xercise4Less: dance like nobody's watching

After a brief spell of laziness, I made a return to the Xercise 4Less gym this week. The sweet, familiar smell of sweat and hard work greeted me at the entrance, and I was immersed in the bright, shaming lights, which showcase my every uncoordinated step and my increasingly reddening face. And I was ready for some Zumba.

For those that aren't familiar with Zumba, it is a workout which incorporates dance elements from hip-hop, soca, samba, salsa, merengue and mambo, with some martial arts elements into aerobics routines. It was developed in Colombia by choreographer Alberto Perez in the '90s. With slogans like “party yourself into shape” this type of class seems to be founded on an idea of fun, community and a friendly atmosphere.

It was a suspiciously good start. I'd left my house in what I'd call perfect time, so I found a parking space with relative ease. When I got into the hall, I heard Kelly Gomersall (the same one who teaches Bokwa) yell: “Are we ready to start?” with just enough time for me to shed the top layers and slot myself in the crowd on the side with fewer spectators, in a suspiciously good bit of empty space.

Zumba has spread in popularity around the world
© Claude PERON –
www.commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Claude_PERON/gallery

As it kicked off, the moves, as always, varied between very simple side-step-like motions, to fairly complicated routine of tangled feet, off-beat steps and random uncoordinated arm waving. I'd fancied myself as a relatively coordinated person. I can count to four, I can step on the beat, I can clap in time with the best of them. But sadly, as soon as the moves became a shade more complicated and the mirrored wall started playing directional tricks with my eyes, all of this went out of the window and the good start was replaced by a desperate game of catch-up.

In light of this, I spent more time than I'd like to admit breaking the moves down to just feet, adding on other nuances later, hoping I could execute them with as much grace as the instructor. This time spent doing half the move to try and catch up, resulted in a reduced level of cardio, and a less tiring workout than I wanted, which was a bit disappointing. For a brief second I thought to myself, “it could be that you're just fitter now?” Then, the internal laughter began.

I shouldn't like to presume she noticed my aimless flapping, but at one point Kelly stopped to break down the next sequence to us. “So,” she concluded once she'd been through it, “it's JUMP, two-three-four, ARMS two-three-four, BOOBS two-three-four, HEAD two-three-four. Everybody got that?”

She can't be blamed for leaving any body part out of the workout, eh? The next routine also 'exercised' the boobs, as it included some shimmying, which also deserved an explanation, since apparently we were all just wiggling our wrists or elbows. “Can we all try and shimmy please. Stick your arms out wide and shimmy. Please be careful of the person next to you if you're well endowed.”

Short of the very occasional element of distraction that makes someone accidentally walk into a plant, I never thought of breasts as a dangerous weapon until that moment, but I'd definitely class my erratic moves as more dangerous than the boobs. In any case, Kelly's little quips and jokes actually made the class a whole lot better, and more human and friendly than just copying moves mechanically and being barked at by a robotic instructor. 

To that end, in a bid to get everyone interacting and integrating and I suppose simply more vocal, she encourages a lot of “whoop-whoop”s and “woo”s at various times, which noises are sadly not to my taste. I want to blend into the walls, not attract more attention to my sweaty, crimson and uncoordinated self.

The good thing about Zumba is that it varies. It is based around so many different dances, that if you don't like one, or find it disproportionately difficult, it will be something completely different when the next song starts up. And regardless of whether you had no idea what was going on and performed the entire routine backwards and upside down, the local culture is that everyone applauds at the end of every song. Even with everything said, I love a bit of Zumba, and persevering through a few classes will iron out any coordination issues. 

She ends on a routine that involves a lot of stretching, accompanied by a song by what sounds like a 90s pop princess, who sings relatively slowly and seductively about love, and we all do a little bow, applaud and go home for cheesecake.

Tuesday 7-8pm Zumba with Kelly Gomersall at Xercise4Less, Leeds.

Bokwa: fun with letters (and numbers)

Having joined a new gym for the very reasonable monthly price of £10, I have vowed to exploit this wonderful good fortune in any way I possibly can, and the first thing is using the included exercise classes as much as possible. 

Despite discovering a few classes at Kirkstall Leisure Centre recently, some of which I was suspicious were actually run by hit men with a novel approach to killing, but which I still appreciated for their undeniable effect (if pain is any indicator), I'm actually getting very much into the Xercise4Less classes I've tried. 

So far, I have attended Bokwa (I know, what? But I'll explain), Bokwa Tone, and Zumba. All three are ran by the same lady, Kelly Gomersall, who seems lovely and energetic, and appears never to sweat. Not even on her face around her hair, making it just a bit damper and stringer. Nope, not at all. It's just me.

Bokwa is a type of dance exercise was developed in the US and is loosely based on language, with the instructor using some kind of basic sign language to indicate the next moves to us. Or so she says. It's yet to become popularised in the UK, like Zumba, but it appears to slowly be coming into it's own. 

Here are my pros and cons of the Bokwa classes: 

Pros

• Bukva (which sounds a lot like Bokwa) means 'letter' in Bulgarian, and Bokwa is a dance exercise class based on drawing letters with your body and the steps you take. A sign? Massive coincidence? Either works for me.
• The time passes surprisingly quickly. Between trying to work out what the hell I was doing with my feet and coordinating (haha!) them with my arms in the jazzy way the instructor does, there was no time to wonder if I can handle another half an hour of this. That's definitely something I need.
• It's fun, like Zumba. You dance around, you yell "woohoo", you shake your back seat and you secretly hope that you'll remember some of the cooler moves next time you're out and dancing with your buddies, to replace the moves I've come to call 'the sway', the 'hand thrusts', and the recently developed 'floppy dancing'. 
• The instructor loves it. She gets really into it, and even for the biggest cynics and self-conscious souls, what can I say, it's infectious. 
• It is relative simple as a concept once the principles are explained - you spell out letters and numbers, and just count. And if you are not that bothered about getting the steps perfect, it's relatively easy to look like you know what you're doing by swaying with the waves, so to speak.
• It's still quite new, so it feels a bit exclusive. You and 59 other Bokwists are the only ones in the club. Shhh. 

Cons

• Popular classes at peak times, very inadequately sized car park – need I say more? I'm not a huge fan of traffic at the best of times, let alone when it is other impatient gym-goers who are in direct competition with you and keep their beady eye on your potential spaces. 
• The wall of mirrors opposite which Bokwa happens means you can't help but watch yourself and wonder why you don't look as good as the instructor. Sure, you can correct your body shape if you see that you're doing it wrong, but mostly, it's just depressing to see the marked difference in skill and body. 
• Bokwa is not very symmetrical. The L shape and the C shape seem to happen in only one direction, which makes me imagine my body, albeit overdramatically, as half The Hulk and half Bruce Banner. Even the most basic backwards and forwards step utilises the feet unevenly. 
• The sports hall is central, and leads to other rooms. Additionally, it's not booked exclusively for the class, and people do lift weights and do stomach crunches nearest the door. This can be massively off-putting when you notice in the mirror wall that some guy is leering and the pert Bokwa behinds of some of the ladies, with a letchy grin on his face – and worse still, when he notices you do some moves backwards to everybody else and sneers.
• The rhythmically challenged – like myself, sadly – may struggle slightly to get the exact jumps and leaps, steps and pauses, hip-circles and hip-thrusts in the exact time. It's both very simple to understand and surprisingly difficult to execute as well as you expect from yourself. Prepare for a lot of random flailing about. But then, may as well give Leery McGee something to gawk at, eh?

On the whole, however, I'm still keen on it, because it does its job well, it's fun, and the pros override the cons for me, and that's more than can be said for some other exercise classes (naming no names, Ls Bs and Ts!)

Xercise4less - Monday 7-8pm - Bokwa.